This week I have had many things on my mind. It has been a week filled with many different thoughts and emotions. Tomorrow I move into a smaller apartment; only one bedroom. This apartment will be the first place I have lived that does not include a separate room for my daughter. I made the decision to downsize because she has reached an age where staying overnight with dad is not as cool as it used to be, I suppose. I could have kept the larger place, but the monthly savings will be nice. I have many mixed feelings about it all. In about 10 days I start a new job, so this week is the beginning of the end of a work related chapter in my life. I feel good about moving away from the current job, but the unknown of a new job always brings me some anxiety. Finally, a friend of mine's spouse unexpectedly passed away this week. He was only a few years older than I am, and that has brought on many thoughts.
All of these events have made me start thinking about what things do I really want my child to know, but maybe I have not been able to tell her just yet. Or maybe I have passed on some of these tidbits of knowledge, but feel as if I have done so ineffectively. The following is a list of things that have come to mind. It is a grossly incomplete list, and thus I often wish I could Vulcan mind meld with her and just pass all knowledge I have to her that way. I'll keep practicing.
1. No matter what happens in life, I will always love you, and will always be there for you. I believe that this knowledge may always lie at the back of all teenaged minds, but I also believe that it is difficult for them to accept, and have faith that it is true. My child often fears that I will get mad at her if she tells me certain things. The fact is that there will be days she is going to say things that make me mad, but that does not lessen my love for her, nor does it mean I won't help her with whatever situation she may be facing. Just have faith that dear old dad is here for you. He is on your side always.
2. Don't chase a dollar. We've all heard the saying that money does not buy happiness, and trust me that is absolutely true. While it may make some things in life easier, it does not make you happy. My advice is to pursue those things that make you happy, and find a way to make a living doing those things. Nothing is more miserable than being stuck in a job/career that does not fulfill you.
3. A healthy dose of skepticism will serve you well. I do believe that there are good people in this world, but I also believe that there are plenty of people in this world who have no more desire but to screw over everyone else. Be skeptical, and it will generally prevent you from being taken in by these people. Don't give your trust so freely; rather make people earn it.
4. I know that mom and dad do not seem like cool people right now, and it is probably difficult to imagine that they were ever cool. However, we were once your age(and were probably much cooler than even you at that time) , and have faced many of the things that you will face soon. Every now and then it might be good if you accepted our advice. Do I have all the answers? Heck no, but I've lived a lot, and I've made many mistakes. I give you my advice because I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I have made. Go make your own.
5. Dont' worry about what others think about you. There will always be someone who thinks you are weird, or a dork, or some variety of odd. Be yourself, and revel in those who do find you interesting and cool. You don't need the entire world to like you. In fact, I have found that having a handful of close, true friends is much better than having hundreds of people who simply know you. You will be miserable if you spend your life pursuing the accolades of people who really are not your friends.
6. As a corollary to #5, don't be afraid to like the things you like. Like the music you like, the movies you want, the books and food you want to like. I have found that it is our differences that make us interesting.
7. You have reached an age where boys will take an interest in you, and you are going to take an interest in boys. This time is going to be a painful time for dear old dad because it means you are growing up. Let me give you this advice: Sometimes you are going to like a boy that does not like you. You will be ok. Is it going to be painful? Yes, but you will get through it, and another person will come along that is equally, if not more, interesting than the first. Likewise, you will have boys interested in you that you are not going to be interested in. Also ok. Don't be that person who toys with them, or is mean about it. Be polite, and be as gentle as you can in your rejection. You would not want someone toying with your emotions, so don't toy with anyone's either. Do not feel like you are ever obligated to go out with, or spend time with someone you are not interested in. you are not. If you do, you are sending them a message that maybe you are interested in them, and that is not ok. Also, do not ever allow someone to treat you poorly. Have confidence in yourself to know that you absolutely do not deserve to be in a relationship with someone who does not lift you up. If someone ever physically harms you (and I mean even one time) I don't care if they apologize a million times, you move on. Same advice for someone who is emotionally abusive, never let someone put you down, or make you feel like you are less of a person. Like I said, believe in yourself, and don't let anyone take that confidence away from you.
8. As a corollary to #7, dad has access to many, many firearms, and knows how to use them all very well. But that should be a last resort.
This list is in no ways complete, but it is a good beginning. I wonder what advice you all have to give that maybe you feel as if you have not emphasized it enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVTRVZRYxc0>
No comments:
Post a Comment